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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26985547">stranger</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamperouge/pseuds/lamperouge'>lamperouge</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A LOT of Angst, Angst, I guess this is slow burn?, I'm Sorry, M/M, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:48:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,086</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26985547</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamperouge/pseuds/lamperouge</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>what if you change? and look at me like i'm a stranger?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>stranger</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>it's been so long since i last wrote something angsty and i felt like it's about time i should do it. title came from <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/4c57ZlmIohTkITIGzyE197?si=x2TW6NCGS4mMLDf5eUUTfQ">stranger by dijon</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>what if you change? and look at me like i’m a stranger?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto doesn’t know when it started to happen. All he knows is that everything led up to the moment he’d been fearing the most. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sweat drips from his forehead as he pants, holding the fabric of his shorts like they’re a crutch and he’s holding on for dear life. The gymnasium lights are almost-blinding, shining directly into his field of vision and he thinks it might compromise the next set Atsumu will eventually have to give to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he hears Akaashi call his name out, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bokuto-san, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he immediately rises up, ready to take flight and slam the ball into the other court. But the ball doesn’t rise up like he assumed it would. If anything, the ball completely missed his point of contact. He lands back on the ground on his feet with his eyes following the ball as it rolls on the ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto is everything okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turns to his right, ready to greet Akaashi with a smile and say that he could do it again — only to be faced with Atsumu. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, how could he forget? Atsumu has been his setter for a few years now. Bokuto should stop living in the past. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There are days when Akaashi would come home with an irritated look on his face, and when Bokuto asks him what’s wrong, the other boy would only wave it off and tell him that it’s nothing. As if Bokuto could just easily dismiss the worrying look on his boyfriend’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Normally Bokuto would have approached Akaashi, asked him if there’s really nothing wrong. But this time, he just gives his boyfriend a quiet hum in response, watching as Akaashi disappears into the bedroom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi doesn’t come out for dinner time, not even when Bokuto calls for him more than enough times. When Bokuto enters the room, his boyfriend is fast asleep, still wearing his clothes from work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sigh escapes his lips and he proceeds to eat dinner by himself, not even bothering to place the leftovers in the microwave. He places them straight in the fridge, knowing that Akaashi wouldn’t wake up until the morning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It terrifies Bokuto to think that everything feels so weirdly uncomfortable now. The silence between them is heavier, even if the television is on acting as white noise to buffer the deafening silence. Akaashi sleeps on the far side of the bed, and doesn’t move towards Bokuto even if he’d starfished across the remaining parts of the bed. Bokuto isn’t as excited to come home as he used to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Coming home scares him more than he’d like to admit. No amount of distraction coming from Hinata or Atsumu could distract him from the thought that crawls up his spine, whispering in his ear darkly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi comes home from work with the same lifeless look on his eyes. His attention that Bokuto usually owns is now directed towards his laptop. Bokuto would have to call him thrice before Akaashi would even bother to hum in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They never eat dinner together anymore. Bokuto would eat with Hinata and Atsumu more often — becoming a regular in Onigiri Miya more often than he’d like to admit. He doesn’t know how or where Akaashi eats dinner. Sometimes he’d come home to paper bags from different fast food places in their garbage can. Sometimes there would be dirty plates in the sink. And sometimes he’d come home to nothing in the kitchen at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of this, Bokuto takes with silence and nothing else left to say. It feels like a losing battle to try with Akaashi, so he allows Akaashi to have his distance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The days where he’d see Akaashi excited about an activity they’re going to partake in are so very rare that it takes Bokuto by surprise when Akaashi shows him his written work with a slight smile. It feels so strange to be doing the things they used to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto says nothing about the strangeness of it and continues to entertain Akaashi like nothing changed when in fact, everything did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every day feels like a ticking time bomb. Bokuto couldn’t really blame any of them, he’d given up on Akaashi, and Akaashi seemed to have welcomed the shift in their relationship like an old friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They don’t fight anymore, contrary to the way they used to fight with care and love and passion inflamed in every word. Bokuto thinks that they’ve become so used to indifference that they’re only hanging on to loose threads of a relationship. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he doesn’t say anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not until Akaashi does it, at least. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything feels strange now doesn’t it?” There’s no longing in his voice, no twinge of regret or willingness to fix things. It sounds like he’s just stating a fact that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow, it’s harder to swallow that definitive situation when it came from Akaashi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well… I guess that’s change.” Bokuto tries his best to ignore the lump in his throat and the overwhelming darkness engulfing his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is to blame just as much as Akaashi is. After all, he noticed it all yet he’d given up instead of fighting for them. He might have been a different man from the way he’d been back in high school, but the way he’d dealt with this situation feels like high school all over again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every single mistake he notices, he allows to get to him until he’s holding up the white flag telling Akaashi to stop setting for him, only to be restless a few minutes later when he feels as though he’s doing absolutely nothing for Akaashi and everyone else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s restless right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi heaves a sigh and disappears into their bedroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few days later, when Akaashi is away on a business trip, he packs his things in a box and moves in with Hinata and Atsumu. It’s then that he finally gets the courage to let out his restlessness, telling them about how Akaashi and him felt more like strangers in one house than the lovestruck lovers they used to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stretches his legs on the comfortable bed of the hotel room his company had booked for him and clicked on the voice-mail Bokuto had left for him. </span>
</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>I’ve packed my stuff and moved out. Maybe it’s time for us to rest, Akaashi. I’ll be with Hinata and Atsumu. I’ll be fine. I hope you’re doing okay. </span>
    </em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the end, it’s still the ace who saves the day. </span>
</p>
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